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Traducerea - Poloneză-Franceză - Na przyszÅ‚ość platonicznÄ…...

Status actualTraducerea
Acest text vă stă la dispoziţie în următoarele limbi: PolonezăEnglezăFrancezăItaliană

Categorie Poezie - Dragoste/Prietenie

Titlu
Na przyszłość platoniczną...
Text
Înscris de Aneta B.
Limba sursă: Poloneză

Na przyszłość platoniczną

Marzeniem swoim
dotykam Twej twarzy
świeci miłością
zapowiadając wierność
w platonicznej przyszłości

Bezpieczna Twa obecność
zapewnia radość istnienia
zapewnia ciepłe milczenie
w zimÄ™ naszego trwania OBOK
Observaţii despre traducere
British English, please.

Titlu
Pour un futur platonique
Traducerea
Franceză

Tradus de gamine
Limba ţintă: Franceză

Pour un futur platonique

Avec mon rêve
Je touche votre visage
qui rayonne d'amour
prédisant la fidélité
dans un avenir platonique

Votre présence à l'abri
assure la joie de l'existence
assure le silence chaud
tout au long de l'hiver, côte à côte.
Validat sau editat ultima dată de către Francky5591 - 21 Octombrie 2012 18:05





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20 Octombrie 2012 12:06

Aneta B.
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 4487
Thanks, Lene, for the traslation!
I just wanted to say that the first line is missing.
You haven't translated: "For a platonic future..." (a tittle).

21 Octombrie 2012 02:58

gamine
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 4611
Sorry Aneta. have edited.

It's a very, very beautiful poem. It really touched me.

21 Octombrie 2012 11:41

Aneta B.
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 4487
Thank you, Lene! And it sounds magnificent in French (to me).
One question: Is it possible to make the last line shorter?

I know English line is a long one too, but Polish is pretty short as you see. I think it would be ok if we wrote:

"throughout the winter of our living BESIDE"
(this is actually what the Polish line says)

21 Octombrie 2012 13:43

lilian canale
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 14972
Hi Aneta,

I noticed the English version was evaluated 2 years ago and apparently at that time we didn't try to make the last line shorter. Do you want me to do it now so that the next languages to be translated will not have the same problem?

If so...what about:
"all over the winter living beside"?

21 Octombrie 2012 14:18

Aneta B.
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 4487
Hi Lilly,

Yes, it would fit perfectly here.
Thank you for your help and watchfulness.

21 Octombrie 2012 14:25

Aneta B.
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 4487
BTW. I'm sorry it seems I became more demanding after these two years.

21 Octombrie 2012 14:27

lilian canale
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 14972
Done!

21 Octombrie 2012 18:04

Francky5591
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 12396
I edited the French version accordingly (shortening last line)

21 Octombrie 2012 21:26

Aneta B.
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 4487
côte à côte! Super!

I just wanted to point out that in the expression "winter living" the "winter" is an adjective for "living" ...

Thank you very much, Lene, Lilly and Francky - the best team ever!