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331Translation - Swedish-Persian language - Jag älskar dina ögon, Jag älskar när du ler....

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Title
Jag älskar dina ögon, Jag älskar när du ler....
Text
Submitted by alexfatt
Source language: Swedish

Jag älskar dina ögon,
Jag älskar när du ler.
Jag älskar när jag hör din röst.
Mitt hjärta det klappar,
när jag ser på dej.
Men tanken att du inte finns här,
det gör mig ledsen,

Title
عاشق چشمانت هستم. عاشق زمانی هستم که لبخند می زنی.
Translation
Persian language

Translated by salimworld
Target language: Persian language

عاشقم چشمانت را،
عاشقم لبخندت را،
عاشقم شنیدن صدایت را.
قلبم می تپد،
آنگاه که به تو می نگرم.
اما اندیشه نبودنت اینجا
غمگینم می کنم.
Remarks about the translation
With requester's consensus the text changed a little to preserve the poetic form. This translation would render in English this way:
I'm in love with your eyes
I'm in love with your smile
I'm in love with hearing your voice
My heart beats,
When I look at you.
But the thought of you not being here
makes me sad.
Validated by salimworld - 6 January 2012 18:53





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4 January 2012 22:09

salimworld
จำนวนข้อความ: 248
Dear alexfatt,

My translation from English here is literally right but the poetic form is not preserved. e.g. if I replace "I love when you smile" with "I love you smiling" or "I'm in love when you smile" it'd become more concise and poetic in Farsi. What do you think? Are my suggestions consistent with original Italian?


4 January 2012 23:45

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
Hi Salim!

Thanks for asking, I see your point. To me, it makes no difference saying "I love when you smile" or "I love you smiling" or "I'm in love when you smile", so feel free to choose the one which fits best (poetically speaking) in the text.


6 January 2012 18:33

salimworld
จำนวนข้อความ: 248
Dear alexfatt,

Please check out the translations remarks. If it is ok, I will evaluate it.


6 January 2012 18:52

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
It's perfect. Mersi!