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Translation - Esperanto-English - La viro estis starita sur la roko, kun mezaÄa...Current status Translation
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Category Fiction / Story | La viro estis starita sur la roko, kun mezaÄa... | | Source language: Esperanto
La viro estis starita sur la roko, kun mezaÄa vizaÄo, ridetis, mi sentis varman manon sur mian Åultron, mi revenis mian vizaÄon, virino kun longaj haroj, Åia hararo malstreĉiÄis, lumoj kiuj reflektis de akvo, estis dancataj sur lia vizaÄo, lumo, varmego, la virino estis juna kaj Åia korbo estis pli granda ol mia, | Remarks about the translation | |
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| The man was standing on the rock, with middle-aged... | TranslationEnglish
Translated by  ArenaL5 | Target language: English
The man was standing on the rock, with a middle-aged face, he smiled, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I turned my face, a woman with long hair, her hair loose, lights which reflected on the water, were dancing on her face, light, such intense warmth, the woman was young and her basket was bigger than mine,... | Remarks about the translation | The translation is almost literal - that juxtaposed, fragmented sentences are unnatural in Esperanto too. Most likely this fragment was automatically translated from other non-European language.
"MalstreĉiÄis" means "unstretched" (verb), I translated it as "curled".
"Varmego" could either be "intense warmth" or "heat", I translated it as "such intense warmth" |
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Latest messages | | | | |
24 June 2012 15:47 | | | Hi Arenal,
I've made a few minor edits to look better in English.
I wonder, however if that "MalstreĉiÄis" could be translated as: "loose".
Before edits:
The man was standing on the rock, with middle-aged face, smiled, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I turned my face, a woman with long hairs, her hair curled, lights which reflected on the water, were dancing on his face, light, such intense warmth, the woman was young and her basket was bigger than mine, | | |
25 June 2012 11:44 | | | I only have one complaint: in "were dancing on her face", the original reads "lia". Lia means "his" and cannot be used for someone which we know is a woman.
I think "MalstreĉiÄis" can be translated that way. ("loosed", in any case)
Thank you for your interest, again. Could you replace a typo of mine in my translation note? "that yuxtaposed" should be "those juxtaposed". | | |
25 June 2012 11:53 | | | Hi ArenaL5 
"Those juxtaposed, fragmente d sentences..."
You're welcome! 
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25 June 2012 14:41 | | | Hi Arenal,
As Alireza confirmed (He wrote: "this is a Persian/Farsi text in original and i translated it direct from Persian to Esperanto" ) the original may be faulty and "Lia" may be wrong. It seems to me that "her face" fits better and makes more sense in the context, don't you agree?
About "loose"...I suggested the adjective not the verb.
The typos are corrected.
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27 June 2012 12:21 | | | Thanks for the corrections, Francky5591 and lilian canale.
If Alireza himself said the original may be faulty, then I have no reason to complain hahaha. It would be good if he could check it so we can be sure.
Actually, it does make more sense in the way you say.
For "loose"... yeah, adjective "loose" looks more natural, please throw it in (checking again my translation, maybe it's even more exact than "curled" .
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- 8 July 2012 22:45
