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Translation - Portuguese-English - Meu coração é um almirante louco

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Category Poetry

This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Meu coração é um almirante louco
Text
Submitted by edinburg
Source language: Portuguese

Meu coração é um almirante louco
que abandonou a profissão do mar
e que a vai relembrando pouco a pouco
em casa a passear, a passear

Title
My heart is a crazy admiral
Translation
English

Translated by Diego_Kovags
Target language: English

My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
and remembers it
little by little
wandering, wandering
at home.
Remarks about the translation
I had to adapt this text with the word 'softly' because I was not able to find a better word with the same meaning for 'pouco a pouco'.
Last validated or edited by Tantine - 26 January 2008 23:25





Latest messages

Author
Message

25 January 2008 00:38

guilon
Number of messages: 1549
I support Tantine's version

25 January 2008 00:53

Lucila
Number of messages: 105
profissão is occupation

25 January 2008 01:47

casper tavernello
Number of messages: 5057
But Tantine's version seems to me like this guy is saying that the reason for him to leave the sea life is his wish for "remembering" something.
Is it right, Tantine?

Who gave up his life at sea
[in order] To remember, at home, bit by bit

One more time having problems with poetry.

[8] We don't translate poems.

25 January 2008 01:31

lilutz
Number of messages: 63
I agree with you, Casper:

"And remember it, little by little", and not "to remember it".

And I've noticed the word "job" as Lucila did. A job is more like an employment than a profession/occupation, right? I agree that "occupation" is better.

25 January 2008 07:12

Rodrigues
Number of messages: 1621
job => occupation.

25 January 2008 15:35

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi All

About the choice of the word "job" rather than "employment", "occupation", "profession" (etc) is the fact that the word is short and "to the point.

This translation is under the category "poetry", so poetic licence is not only "permitted", it is often "necessary", so as not to turn a short poetry into an Icelandic Saga

So I not only accept Diego's choice of this word, I applaud it.

Casper - I needed to change the "to" into "and", so now I think it's telling the right story =>

If I've got this right, the literal translation (into French) of:

e que a vai relembrando pouco a pouco
em casa a passear, a passear

would be

"et qui (s'en) va, rémemorant, peu à peu, à la maison, pour marcher, pour marcher"

My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
And remembers, at home, bit by bit
Wandering, wandering

I think it is telling the sad story of someone who regrets having given up on a relationship.

Since s/he (the heart) is no longer the "admiral" of that wonderful boat called "A love story", s/he can only sit alone (at home) and ruminate his/her regrets.

But I might be wrong

Bises
Tantine

[9] At cucumis we love (Tantine loves) translating poetry but we cannot promise to make it rhyme (Tantine often does).




25 January 2008 20:05

Sweet Dreams
Number of messages: 2202
I agree with Tantine's version
It's much better that way

25 January 2008 20:08

fafarucas
Number of messages: 1
to take a walk não me parece correcto para "a passear"

25 January 2008 20:11

Sweet Dreams
Number of messages: 2202
Nem a mim... parece estranho dizer isto, mas... parece que está demasiado dentro do contexto...

25 January 2008 20:14

Sweet Dreams
Number of messages: 2202
Por isso mesmo "wandering, wandering" ficaria muito melhor.

26 January 2008 02:31

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
and remembers it
little by little
wandering, wandering
at home.

26 January 2008 02:30

casper tavernello
Number of messages: 5057
[9] At cucumis we love translating poetry but we cannot promise to make it rhyme... and catch the very sense of it.

I like your last version.

"...we cannot promise to make it rhyme" hahahaha

26 January 2008 16:42

zornitsa bogo
Number of messages: 9
ne e tochen prevodat

26 January 2008 16:57

Sweet Dreams
Number of messages: 2202
Zornitsa, could you speak english or maybe portuguese for us to understand you? Thanks

26 January 2008 21:36

Anita_Luciano
Number of messages: 1670
I like lilian canales version!

26 January 2008 21:48

casper tavernello
Number of messages: 5057
Lilians

26 January 2008 22:29

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Lilian's version.

"life" conveys much sooooo much more

I will edit, then validate

Bises/beijos
Tantine

26 January 2008 22:34

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi Lilian (in particular, anyone else in general)

I have edited this text using your (Lilian's) translation so, technically, Lilian should earn the points for this translation.

I will donate you the equivalent if you want

I'll validate now

Bises
Beijos
Tantine

26 January 2008 22:52

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi Tantine:

I'm glad my version was so well accepted, but...
if the points are to be donated, I think that in order to be fair, they should be divided among the many who gave suggestions, including yourself, so don't worry...thanks anyway.

Bises
Lilly.


26 January 2008 23:51

Sweet Dreams
Number of messages: 2202
I agree!

Lilian's verson
or
Tantine's version
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