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Vertimas - Lenkų-Italų - CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie

Esamas statusasVertimas
Šis tekstas išverstas į šias kalbas: LenkųAnglųPrancūzųItalųŠvedų

Kategorija Poetinė kūryba - Meilė / Draugystė

Pavadinimas
CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie
Tekstas
Pateikta Aneta B.
Originalo kalba: Lenkų

CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie

I lubię nawet czekać
na Twoje wstawanie o szóstej nad ranem
na to jak odczytasz
moją poranną krótką wiadomość tekstową
- niespodzianka z kroplą bólu -
w języku włoskim
w języku miłości
Buon giorno, angelo mio

I lubię czekać na spotkanie
to umówione na dziesiątą
na święte nasze gadanie
o wszystkim i o niczym
bo słowa kolcem stoją
a miłość - jak franca - gorzka

I choć rozum z sercem się biją
wiem że nie możemy się więcej poranić
bólu aż nadto w jednym tylko rozstaniu
Pastabos apie vertimą
British English, please.

Oczywiście nie tłumaczymy włoskiej "wstawki"...;)
franca - dawniej smiertelna choroba weneryczna
myślę, że można to przetłumaczyć niedosłownie, bo dziś funcjonuje to słowo w idiomatycznym, przenośnym znaczeniu: np. "damn" lub podobnie...

Pavadinimas
Aspettando un appuntamento
Vertimas
Italų

Išvertė brusurf
Kalba, į kurią verčiama: Italų

Aspettando un appuntamento

E piuttosto mi piace aspettare
il tuo risveglio alle 6 del mattino
quando leggi il mio breve messaggio mattutino
- una sorpresa con una goccia di dolore –
in italiano
lingua dell’amore
Buon giorno, angelo mio

E mi piace aspettare un appuntamento
schedulato per le dieci
per il nostro sacrosanto colloquio
su tutto e niente
poichè le parole sono come spine
e l’amore - maledetto! - è tanto amaro.

E nonostante la mente ed il cuore
lottino tra loro
so che non possiamo essere feriti
c'è abbastanza dolore in un solo addio.
Validated by Francky5591 - 3 spalis 2012 12:42





Paskutinės žinutės

Autorius
Pranešimas

13 rugsėjis 2012 23:49

Lev van Pelt
Žinučių kiekis: 313
"e l'amore è troppo amaro, come il fiele" (??)

"e l'amore --maledetto/dannato sia-- è tanto amaro! (??)

Just guessing...

14 rugsėjis 2012 00:48

alexfatt
Žinučių kiekis: 1538
I like Lev's latter suggestion!

"e l'amore - maledetto! - è tanto amaro"

Aneta, about the last line, I'd translate it as "c'è abbastanza dolore in un solo addio".

I'd also like to get brusurf's feedback! What do you think about our decisions, @brusurf?

14 rugsėjis 2012 01:49

Francky5591
Žinučių kiekis: 12396
In which case (sorry Aneta, I wasn't anymore connected, I just read your post on the late), according to Lev's suggestion, I would translate into French by "Et l'amour - maudit soit-il - est si amer"


14 rugsėjis 2012 08:21

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
"c'è abbastanza dolore in un solo addio".

---

Dear Francky, I know poems are difficult to transalate, because we should feel/understand an author's feelings and read between lines first... Here I'm the author, so it's easier, because I can explain what I meant. But I'm not sure if I can do it precisely.
Ok, I'll try once again...

in this particular case = with this man, in this situation when even "words are like thorns".

But it is still about love considered in general, "love" is sitil a general term here. That's just how the "person speaking" (author) felt love in that time...She just considered it bitter, even if it could be different in other situations.

Et l'amour - maudit soit-il - est si amer" looks good to me, though my French is not enough to say this for sure. But I trust our experts!

Thank you for your work, Francky, Alex and Lev.

14 rugsėjis 2012 11:06

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
One more thing, Alex.
I can see that brusurf forgot to translate the title which was included in the text.

CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie:
"Aspettando un appuntamento"?

("czekajÄ…c" grammatically is ppa = participium praesentis activvi )

14 rugsėjis 2012 15:25

alexfatt
Žinučių kiekis: 1538
Yes, "Aspettando un appuntamento" is the best choice!

14 rugsėjis 2012 16:59

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
Grazie Alex! Yes, that is what I thought.

25 rugsėjis 2012 11:26

brusurf
Žinučių kiekis: 32
sorry about my delay :-(
I agree the change considering that I really did not know how to translate that part.
Thanks
I'm going to modify it.

25 rugsėjis 2012 12:36

Francky5591
Žinučių kiekis: 12396
Thanks brusuf!

Alex, I think you can validate this translation.


2 spalis 2012 20:32

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
Hi brusurf,
You have not translated the title/first verse yet (CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie/Waiting for a rendezvous)...

I was suggesting: "Aspettando un appuntamento" and Alex agreed. How about you?

2 spalis 2012 22:13

alexfatt
Žinučių kiekis: 1538
Sorry, it's my fault! I'll correct all and accept the translation

2 spalis 2012 22:35

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
Alex, but you haven't added the first verse (title) to the translation. The first verse wasn't translated at all - that's why I once gave you the hint.

3 spalis 2012 10:33

brusurf
Žinučių kiekis: 32
@ Aneta B.
I can visualise the title I've already translated. Can you? :-)
BR

3 spalis 2012 10:56

Francky5591
Žinučių kiekis: 12396
Yes we can, thanks brusuf!

3 spalis 2012 12:40

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
I'm sorry I don't understand you, brusurf.

I mean your translation is lacking one line - the first line. Compare it with Polish, English and French version.
You should have started not from: "E piuttosto mi piace aspettare", but from "Aspettando un appuntamento". See what I mean?

3 spalis 2012 12:44

Francky5591
Žinučių kiekis: 12396
I added the missing first line, is it ok this way, Aneta?


3 spalis 2012 13:08

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
Thank you, Francky!

4 spalis 2012 12:41

brusurf
Žinučių kiekis: 32
I'm so sorry I was missing the point!
I've got it now!
Thank you all!
Bye

4 spalis 2012 12:44

Francky5591
Žinučių kiekis: 12396
You're welcome brusuf!
Thanks to you for your translation work!

4 spalis 2012 19:53

Aneta B.
Žinučių kiekis: 4487
No problem, brusurf!
Mistakes happen, we all make them from time to time, but thanks to the cooperative work of Cucumers we finally are able to get the best translation which satisfises us. I'm sorry for my "clinging to details".
I'm also very grateful for your work on my text. Thank you.
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