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569Translation - English-Spanish - Each small candle

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Requested translations: Literary Chinese

Category Song

This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Each small candle
Text
Submitted by Rumo
Source language: English

Not the torturer will scare me
Nor the body's final fall
Nor the barrels of death's rifles
Nor the shadows on the wall
Nor the night when to the ground
The last dim star of pain is hurled
But the blind indifference
Of a merciless unfeeling world

And each small candle
Lights a corner of the dark...
Remarks about the translation
From a song by Roger Waters
Source: http://www.roger-waters.com/candle.html

Please keep sense and meaning, translations have not necessarily got to be as poetical (but if you have nice lyrical ideas, don't hesitate to use them).^^





Title
Cada pequeña vela
Translation
Spanish

Translated by acuario
Target language: Spanish

Ni el torturador me asustará
Ni la caída final del cuerpo
Ni los cañones de los rifles de la muerte
Ni las sombras en el muro
Ni la noche, cuando al suelo
Sea arrojada la última leve estrella de dolor.
Sino la ciega indiferencia
De un mundo cruel y sin piedad

Y cada pequeña vela
Ilumina un rincón de la oscuridad
Validated by Lev van Pelt - 10 July 2012 10:33





Last messages

Author
Message

26 June 2007 16:27

indiangirl
Number of messages: 1
hej älskling hur mår du? vad gör du varför har du inte på din mobil för hur ska jag kunna få tag på dig? var är du nu snälla kan du komma in på msn igen....? jag saknar dig jätte mycket jag vill ha dig här hos mig nu:s puss o kram

27 June 2007 04:59

cucumis
Number of messages: 3785
Sorry can you translate your message in english ?

20 May 2008 20:50

KULELÄ°
Number of messages: 1
coma esta

20 June 2012 21:00

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
The published translation of this song into Spanish (4 years ago, as I notice!) has several mistakes; a couple of them really serious -unacceptable in my opinion-. Moreover this is a favourite text.
So, I propose here a corrected version:

Ni el torturador me asustará
Ni la caída final del cuerpo
Ni los cañones de los rifles de la muerte
Ni las sombras en el muro
Ni la noche, cuando al suelo
Sea arrojada la última leve estrella de dolor
Sino la ciega indiferencia
De un mundo cruel y sin piedad

Y cada pequeña vela
Ilumina un rincón de la oscuridad...

20 June 2012 23:30

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Thanks Lev van Pelt, I'll forward your remark to a Spanish native speaker

Hi Lilian, what should we do here, should we switch with Lev's version

Thanks!

CC: lilian canale

21 June 2012 00:35

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
Hi again, Francky5591!

Thanks for your response on this subject as well.
I just want to remark than I am in fact(from my very birth, or not much afterwards :-) a native Spanish speaker, being born near Barcelona, from Spanish parents...

21 June 2012 00:31

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
And I want to clarify that I am ALSO a native Catalan speaker (we are usually bilingual in my little Country with no state :-/

Thanks indeed for your kind attention,

Lev

21 June 2012 00:36

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Yes, I could see on your profile that you were Spanish, what I meant but forgot to mention was "a Spanish native speaker with a monkey-wrench" (an admin here has got a monkey-wrench under her/his avatar)

21 June 2012 00:46

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
You're welcome Lev! Cheer up Catalunya!


21 June 2012 01:09

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
Of course!
I understood this just a few seconds after having posted my messages.
Anyway, going back to the published translation of this lyrics by Roger Waters, I must recommend with strength its revision; or even removal, given the flagrant errors that it contains.
(I've seen that the translator is from Spain, and I have no doubts that she knows Spanish; but neither have I any doubt that she did not read well the original.)

21 June 2012 01:44

Lev van Pelt
Number of messages: 313
I've arrived a little bit late with my last answer, Francky. You have anticipated with your welcome, and your "Cheer up Catalunya (well written with "ny"!!)
I feel very grateful and impressed by this. I can assure you.
Many many thanks.

(And "Vive La France !" :-))

21 June 2012 01:03

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
I believe you're right lev, no doubt on it!
That will certainly be confirmed by Lilian, and we'll switch with the version you gave.


21 June 2012 01:21

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Our messages cross all the time!

I wish you a good night, Lev, I'll log out now.

Cheers!

21 June 2012 01:30

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi guys,

Yes, in fact Lev van Pelt is right about this translation. I was not part of the team at that time and I honestly can't understand why this version was accepted.
I'll reject it and give Lev van Pelt the chance of doing a better job

Thanks both for your vigilance.