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Prevođenje - Poljski-Engleski - Pod twoim spojrzeniem

Trenutni statusPrevođenje
Ovaj tekst je dostupan u sljedećim jezicima: PoljskiEngleski

Kategorija Pjesništvo - Ljubav / Prijateljstvo

Naslov
Pod twoim spojrzeniem
Tekst
Poslao Aneta B.
Izvorni jezik: Poljski

To jak spojrzałeś na mnie
To jak wciąż patrzysz
Oczarowało mnie ...
Gdy zobaczyłam Twe dłonie
Zapragnęłam by kiedyś mnie dotykały ...
Ciepłem głosu zadbałeś o moje bezpieczeństwo
Mogłam więc być sobą
I mogłam być piękna ...
Primjedbe o prijevodu
British English, please...

Naslov
Under your gaze
Prevođenje
Engleski

Preveo iluvmilka
Ciljni jezik: Engleski

The way you looked at me,
The way you still do,
Has enchanted me

When I beheld your hands
I desired their touch
Your warm voice gave me a shelter
Then...I could be myself
And I could be beautiful

Posljednji potvrdio i uredio lilian canale - 13 rujan 2009 20:45





Najnovije poruke

Autor/ica
Poruka

12 rujan 2009 19:25

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
"I could be beautiful" is much better.

12 rujan 2009 19:26

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
By the way, we don't say "feel to be" - we would either just say "feel beautiful" or "feel that I am/was beautiful".

12 rujan 2009 19:28

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Thank you, Laura! I appreciate your help...
I like your proposition with the idiom very much... Let's wait for Lilian...


12 rujan 2009 19:27

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
If "shelter from the storm" is too long, you could say this: "Your warm voice gave me shelter" - without the article it gives the meaning you want.

12 rujan 2009 19:28

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
You're welcome, Aneta - it's a beautiful poem!


12 rujan 2009 19:32

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Thank you, dear Laura! I've got more of them. Three Ania's translations of them already evaluated... I will regularly submit all of them... Could you help in improving the translations from time to time (as a native), please?

12 rujan 2009 19:34

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
I'm sending you a pm.

12 rujan 2009 22:13

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
What do you think, Lilly, after the discussion with Laura? What shall we do now?

12 rujan 2009 23:56

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
I think if Laura is available, she is certainly a better choice to evaluate your poems as a native speaker. I'd like her to take care of them.

Laura, what do you say? Do you have some free time to help us with that?
Aneta and her poetry deserve getting the best possible translations

13 rujan 2009 00:08

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Lilly, I don't agree, sorry The more people working on them, the better I believe... I wanted she jointed to our team (4 people now) and helped us too. But I still need your help, dear one. In Polish we say: "Co dwie głowy, to nie jedna" (literally: The one head isn't so good as two heads" )

Please, don't give up. I asked your opinion in the post above, because it is very important for me. Kafetzou is a native but American one. I requested about British English translations...Can you remember?

13 rujan 2009 00:31

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
I can help with Aneta's poems, but the other ones haven't been translated yet, right?

13 rujan 2009 00:45

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Thank you, Laura. I really appreciate it! No they haven't... I'm still waiting for the next translation...

13 rujan 2009 02:07

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
Oh, no I won't give up, Aneta. Don't worry.
I'm asking Kafetzou to help us because she always has great ideas.
And you know...we also have that saying: "Two heads are better than one" or better yet, "Many hands make light work"

13 rujan 2009 02:12

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
... and Lilian's trying to get me more involved in Cucumis again ...


13 rujan 2009 02:20

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
You got it! You know how much we miss and need you here

13 rujan 2009 07:33

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Yes, Laura! WE NEED AND MISS YOU HERE!
Thank, you, Lilly!!! You're great!

13 rujan 2009 19:21

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
But what about this one?

Can we change in this way:
[your warm voice] "plied me a shelter" --> "gave me shelter"?

And for sure instead of
[I could be]gorgeous --> beautiful

13 rujan 2009 19:25

kafetzou
Broj poruka: 7963
The word "plied" definitely does not have the meaning you think it does, Lilian. To "ply" something means to sell it or hawk it. So yes - gave would be better! I wonder where this meaning of "ply" came from - if it's a dictionary, it needs editing!

13 rujan 2009 20:45

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
I may have made the wrong choice, but "ply" is a synonym of: provide, supply, shower, lavish, regale.
According to Oxford: "give what is desired or needed, especially support, food or sustenance"

13 rujan 2009 20:49

Aneta B.
Broj poruka: 4487
Well, maybe we are faced here with the meaning differences between American and British English... Am I right?
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