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翻译 - 波兰语-英语 - Pod twoim spojrzeniem

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本文可用以下语言: 波兰语英语

讨论区 诗歌 - 爱 / 友谊

标题
Pod twoim spojrzeniem
正文
提交 Aneta B.
源语言: 波兰语

To jak spojrzałeś na mnie
To jak wciąż patrzysz
Oczarowało mnie ...
Gdy zobaczyłam Twe dłonie
Zapragnęłam by kiedyś mnie dotykały ...
Ciepłem głosu zadbałeś o moje bezpieczeństwo
Mogłam więc być sobą
I mogłam być piękna ...
给这篇翻译加备注
British English, please...

标题
Under your gaze
翻译
英语

翻译 iluvmilka
目的语言: 英语

The way you looked at me,
The way you still do,
Has enchanted me

When I beheld your hands
I desired their touch
Your warm voice gave me a shelter
Then...I could be myself
And I could be beautiful

lilian canale认可或编辑 - 2009年 九月 13日 20:45





最近发帖

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2009年 九月 12日 19:25

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
"I could be beautiful" is much better.

2009年 九月 12日 19:26

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
By the way, we don't say "feel to be" - we would either just say "feel beautiful" or "feel that I am/was beautiful".

2009年 九月 12日 19:28

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Thank you, Laura! I appreciate your help...
I like your proposition with the idiom very much... Let's wait for Lilian...


2009年 九月 12日 19:27

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
If "shelter from the storm" is too long, you could say this: "Your warm voice gave me shelter" - without the article it gives the meaning you want.

2009年 九月 12日 19:28

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
You're welcome, Aneta - it's a beautiful poem!


2009年 九月 12日 19:32

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Thank you, dear Laura! I've got more of them. Three Ania's translations of them already evaluated... I will regularly submit all of them... Could you help in improving the translations from time to time (as a native), please?

2009年 九月 12日 19:34

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
I'm sending you a pm.

2009年 九月 12日 22:13

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
What do you think, Lilly, after the discussion with Laura? What shall we do now?

2009年 九月 12日 23:56

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
I think if Laura is available, she is certainly a better choice to evaluate your poems as a native speaker. I'd like her to take care of them.

Laura, what do you say? Do you have some free time to help us with that?
Aneta and her poetry deserve getting the best possible translations

2009年 九月 13日 00:08

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Lilly, I don't agree, sorry The more people working on them, the better I believe... I wanted she jointed to our team (4 people now) and helped us too. But I still need your help, dear one. In Polish we say: "Co dwie głowy, to nie jedna" (literally: The one head isn't so good as two heads" )

Please, don't give up. I asked your opinion in the post above, because it is very important for me. Kafetzou is a native but American one. I requested about British English translations...Can you remember?

2009年 九月 13日 00:31

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
I can help with Aneta's poems, but the other ones haven't been translated yet, right?

2009年 九月 13日 00:45

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Thank you, Laura. I really appreciate it! No they haven't... I'm still waiting for the next translation...

2009年 九月 13日 02:07

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
Oh, no I won't give up, Aneta. Don't worry.
I'm asking Kafetzou to help us because she always has great ideas.
And you know...we also have that saying: "Two heads are better than one" or better yet, "Many hands make light work"

2009年 九月 13日 02:12

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
... and Lilian's trying to get me more involved in Cucumis again ...


2009年 九月 13日 02:20

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
You got it! You know how much we miss and need you here

2009年 九月 13日 07:33

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Yes, Laura! WE NEED AND MISS YOU HERE!
Thank, you, Lilly!!! You're great!

2009年 九月 13日 19:21

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
But what about this one?

Can we change in this way:
[your warm voice] "plied me a shelter" --> "gave me shelter"?

And for sure instead of
[I could be]gorgeous --> beautiful

2009年 九月 13日 19:25

kafetzou
文章总计: 7963
The word "plied" definitely does not have the meaning you think it does, Lilian. To "ply" something means to sell it or hawk it. So yes - gave would be better! I wonder where this meaning of "ply" came from - if it's a dictionary, it needs editing!

2009年 九月 13日 20:45

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
I may have made the wrong choice, but "ply" is a synonym of: provide, supply, shower, lavish, regale.
According to Oxford: "give what is desired or needed, especially support, food or sustenance"

2009年 九月 13日 20:49

Aneta B.
文章总计: 4487
Well, maybe we are faced here with the meaning differences between American and British English... Am I right?
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