Język docelowy: Angielski
THINGS EVERY DOG SHOULD REMEMBER
1. The garbage collector doesn’t steal our stuff.
2. There is no need to jump up suddenly, especially when I lie under the coffee table.
3. I will not ‘loose’ my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
4. A dog must shake the rainwater out BEFORE entering the house.
5. Cat food belongs to cats - even if they threw it up, and apparently they do not want it anymore.
6. I don’t need to look for remaining clean pieces of carpet when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc., just because they smell so good.
9. The content of a cat litter box, although tasty and crunchy, is not for eating.
10. I will not eat toilet paper or napkins anymore just to bring them up in the backyard after that.
11. The stack of diapers is not a box of chocolates.
12. I will never chew up toothbrushes without permission.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
14. When I’m in the car and it’s raining outside, I will not insist on having the window rolled down.
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
16. I will not steal my mom’s underwear and scatter it all over the back yard.
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom and dad’s laps.
18. I am not allowed to put my head in the freezer or washing machine.
19. I will not bite the policeman’s hand when he reaches for driver’s license and our car registration.
20. I will not be tugging my dad’s panties when he sits on the toilet.
21. I should avoid eating cloth strings in the bathroom, or the string will stick out of my ass.
22. I will not be rolling around in the dirt, especially right after the bath.
23. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is not a good way of saying hello.
24. I should not hump on any person’s leg just because I am in a mood to do it.
25. I will not pass gas while sleeping on the pillow and nestling my mom’s or dad’s head.
26. I will not drag my butt across the carpet just after a walk.
27. The toilet bowl is not a spring and, just because the water is blue, it doesn’t mean it is clean.
28. If I ever get bored of guests, I should not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
29. Unexpected smells coming out of my butt can quickly clear a room.
30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so, when I play with it and it starts squeaking, it’s a bad sign.