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Переклад - Польська-Англійська - Przeprosiny

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Категорія Поезія - Кохання / Дружба

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Przeprosiny
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Публікацію зроблено Aneta B.
Мова оригіналу: Польська

Mówię ci przepraszam
tylko tyle...
nie umiem inaczej

pozwalam ci na niewiele
na to by odejść...
na to by zapomnieć...

to już wszystko
piękne wszystko
post factum

przepraszam
że otworzyłam drzwi
i nie pozwoliłam byś wszedł

nie tylko ty się bałeś...
Пояснення стосовно перекладу
Proszę nie tłumaczyć łacińskiego zwrotu:
"post factum" - (after the event, po fakcie/po wydarzeniu)

British English, please.

Заголовок
Apology
Переклад
Англійська

Переклад зроблено iluvmilka
Мова, якою перекладати: Англійська

I'm telling you I’m sorry
That’s it
There's no other way to apologise

Little is left for you to do,
To leave me
To forget me

That’s it
Everything’s fine
"Post Factum"

Pardon me
For opening the door
And not letting you in
Затверджено lilian canale - 5 Жовтня 2009 18:21





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19 Вересня 2009 01:04

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
But "pozwalam ci na niewiele" precisely means:
"I'm letting you [do] FEW things"
it is also praesent continuous... Almost the whole poem is expressed in this tense I think...

The action of "apologising" (speaking) is happening now.


19 Вересня 2009 00:59

Aneta B.
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Will our Lilly join to the discussion, please?


CC: lilian canale

19 Вересня 2009 01:08

kafetzou
Кількість повідомлень: 7963
OK - I think I understand now - here's my suggestion:

I’m saying I'm sorry
That’s it
I can’t apologise in any other way

I'm only letting you do a few things,
Like leave me
And forget me

That’s it
Everything’s fine
After the fact

I apologise
For opening the door
And not letting you in

You were not the only one who was too scared

19 Вересня 2009 01:16

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
"After the fact" is not needed here. I wanted Latin expression was left here...

I have also one question.
do a few things means:
"do some (quite many) things
or "do some (few/little)things"..., because I'd like to have here the second option...

19 Вересня 2009 01:19

lilian canale
Кількість повідомлень: 14972
I don't know if it conveys the meaning, but here's a try:

I’m sorry
That’s it
There's no other way to apologise

Little is left for you to do,
To leave me
To forget me

That’s it
Everything’s excellent
"Post Factum"

Excuse me
For opening the door
And not letting you in

You were not the only one who was too scared

19 Вересня 2009 01:31

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
Yes that is indeed!
Great shot, Lilly! Thank you!

Only the first sentence, I would translate:
I'm saying (to?) you I'm sorry... (in the original there is just that)

19 Вересня 2009 15:40

iluvmilka
Кількість повідомлень: 77
Honestly, i dont think that "i am saying i am sorry" sounds english at all. Also i'd say that 'excuse me' is not what should've been used. Perhaps "forget me' would be more suitable but i think that apologise is the best possible option but thats just my opinion. Im not an expert

19 Вересня 2009 18:43

kafetzou
Кількість повідомлень: 7963
1) If you must say "I'm saying", it should be "I'm saying I'm sorry".

2) "Little is left for you to do" is very different from "I can let you do just a few things". I still don't understand what is meant here. Do you mean, "Up to now, I have only allowed you to do two things," or do you mean "There are only two things remaining for you to do"?

3) What is the purpose of this translation? If it is for English speakers to understand your poems, I don't think "post factum" will work.

4) "Excuse me" would be "Pardon me" in British English. Would that work with the meaning, iluvmilka?

19 Вересня 2009 19:10

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
Well,well, well... I can say only that I like "Pardon me" very much and I hope some English people know Latin and this poem is directed towards them, hehehe... The rest can easily check the well-known Latin expression in the Net... or I can make some note under the poem for them...

p.s. In Polish poetry we can find a lot of Latin expressions and so-called "well-educated" people can deal with them... Don't take offence, please

19 Вересня 2009 20:41

kafetzou
Кількість повідомлень: 7963
I'm well aware of this - many more Latin expressions are used in German and Eastern European languages, interestingly. In English we do use some of them, such as "habeas corpus", "ipso facto", "ad infinitum", "post partum", and many others, but this one isn't one of the ones we use. I think it's OK if you add a note of explanation. What do you intend to do with your poems, Aneta?

Note: I would not say "everything's excellent" - it doesn't sound right for the meaning you're trying to convey. "everything's fine" would be better - that's what I used in my suggested translation.

19 Вересня 2009 21:11

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
Well, you're probably right... But literally I said in this place:

everything is "beautiful" - very ironic words...

(it is a kind of idiom or Polish popular expression)


19 Вересня 2009 21:42

kafetzou
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That's why I suggested "everything is fine" - that's an idiom in English.

19 Вересня 2009 21:48

Aneta B.
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Yes, I know very well this your idiom and I think it means exactly the same...

19 Вересня 2009 23:08

kafetzou
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Yes - the meaning can be literal, but it can also be quite ironic.

20 Вересня 2009 18:11

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
I say I’m sorry
That’s it
There's no other way to apologise

Little is left for you to do,
To leave me
To forget me

That’s it
Everything’s fine
"Post Factum"

Pardon me
For opening the door
And not letting you in


Is this acceptable version? For me very accurate. Complilation of all your great ideas, girls!

20 Вересня 2009 19:15

kafetzou
Кількість повідомлень: 7963
"I say"??? Why? Is the action repeated?

I can't say if this is correct, because you haven't clarified the meaning of "pozwalam ci na niewiele" (see my post above: 19 September 2009 18:43).

20 Вересня 2009 19:26

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
Oh, sorry. It should be
I'm saying to you I'm sorry

I didn't clarify, but I really like Lilly's idea
Little is left for you to do

It conveys the meaning very well, though it isn't a literal translation. But, we are not looking for any literal translation, are we?


20 Вересня 2009 19:43

kafetzou
Кількість повідомлень: 7963
"I'm telling you I'm sorry", or
"I'm saying I'm sorry", not
"I'm saying to you I'm sorry"

Thanks for the clarification - I think it's OK after you make the change to the first line.


20 Вересня 2009 19:53

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
"I'm telling you I'm sorry" - this is what I wanted to say...
Thanks!

6 Жовтня 2009 11:22

Aneta B.
Кількість повідомлень: 4487
Thank everybody who took care of the translation!
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