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Traducció - Turc-Anglès - Bu akÅŸamda sensizliÄŸi anılara sarıp içtim...

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Categoria Poesia

Títol
Bu akşamda sensizliği anılara sarıp içtim...
Text
Enviat per barok
Idioma orígen: Turc

Bu akşamda sensizliği anılara sarıp içtim
Kaybettikten sonra anlıyor insan.
Meğerse hiç kimseyi senin kadar sevmemişim.
Bir dönsen; en güzel yerinde biten o rüya
Yeniden yaşanır istersen
Yıldızları sermezmiyim ayaklarına,geldiğin yollara toz olmazmıyım
Yine şafak söküyor,
Uykuların unuttuğu gözlerim yine tavanda.
Ne vardı diyorum ah bir dönseydin son anda.
Şarjörüne hasret sürdüm sazımın,
Şimdi hüzün işgalinde yüreğim.

Títol
Tonight yet again i
Traducció
Anglès

Traduït per kfeto
Idioma destí: Anglès

Tonight yet again I drank wrapping your absence around my memories
One understands after having lost.
Turns out I never loved anyone as much as I loved you.
If only you'd return; that dream that ended at its height
Could be relived if you'd want it to
Would I not lay out the stars at your feet, would I not become the dust at the roads you'd walk
It is the break of dawn yet again,
My eyes that have forgotten sleep wander upon the ceiling yet again.
I say, what would happen if you'd return at the last moment
I charged my saz's strings with longing,
Now my heart is occupied by grief.
Darrera validació o edició per kafetzou - 22 Febrer 2008 07:15





Darrer missatge

Autor
Missatge

19 Febrer 2008 16:58

goncin
Nombre de missatges: 3706
Obrigado, smy!

19 Febrer 2008 20:29

kfeto
Nombre de missatges: 953
Perhaps "filled my saz with longing"?
It sounds more natural than "charging a saz"

20 Febrer 2008 07:06

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
Hi smy

I think that the translation of the 6th line is fine - the word "would" is used the convey the uncertainty of "olmazmıyım".

But this line is not correct: "Why, I say, don't you return at the last moment." It should be, "What happened? I say, ah, if only you would come back in the last minute."

20 Febrer 2008 07:10

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
P.S. A saz is a saz, everybody! There's no other word for this instrument.

I think the "charger" line should be "I long for my saz's inspiration".

20 Febrer 2008 07:27

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
This is a saz:

saz

And this is a banjo:

banjo

20 Febrer 2008 14:52

kfeto
Nombre de missatges: 953
well i like "I long for my saz's inspiration".
It sounds good though i don't know how accurate it is since frankly i don't understand the original line in turkish.

"Ne vardı" is equal to 'ne olur' and means something like:"what's the worst that could happen?" or "why not?"

20 Febrer 2008 12:02

smy
Nombre de missatges: 2481
Ok, then the 6th line is correct, thanks Kafetzou! yet, the translation for "Şarjörüne hasret sürdüm sazımın" is not correct as is, we need some explanation from barok, the and also this line:
"Why, I say, don't you return at the last moment" should be
"What would happen if you returned at the last moment"

you should unevaluate this translation dramati.

CC: dramati

20 Febrer 2008 15:41

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
"Ne vardı" means "What would happen"????

20 Febrer 2008 15:42

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
Also, kfeto, why did you use the word "welding" in the first line?

20 Febrer 2008 17:06

smy
Nombre de missatges: 2481
Yes, "ne vardı" means "ne olurdu"?

20 Febrer 2008 17:21

smy
Nombre de missatges: 2481
Ok, this line should be changed completely, this is the most literal translation:

Ne vardı diyorum ah bir dönseydin son anda = I say, what would happen if you only returned at the last moment?

And, "I long for my saz's inspiration" would not be correct.


21 Febrer 2008 01:42

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
I would either say "If you would only return" or "If you returned", not "If you only returned". "If only you returned" is also possible.

What do you think he means with the charger, then?

21 Febrer 2008 11:27

smy
Nombre de missatges: 2481
I think he considers "saz" as a gun and its strings as "charger" and then he plays his longing with saz, that means "şarjörüne hasret sürdüm sazımın" but kfeto used "adorned" which means "süsledim". What about "I charged my saz's strings with longing" -->thinking "strings" are "charger" ?

21 Febrer 2008 11:41

kfeto
Nombre de missatges: 953
"Also, kfeto, why did you use the word "welding" in the first line?"
yes more correct would be 'wrapped' or 'surrounded' i deviated because i thought welding conjured up a more poetic imagery.

literally 'ne vardi' means 'what was' or 'what existed' as in 'what existed (that stopped you from returning or doing whatever it is that i want you to do)'




21 Febrer 2008 14:59

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
"welding" conjures up an image of metallic industrial work. "clinging to" might be better here, but I don't totally understand the grammar of the first line. Why is "sensizlik" in the objective case? What verb is it the object of?

kfeto, you and smy, who are both native speakers, seem to disagree about the meaning of "ne vardi". I also thought it meant "what was there", which is why I wrote my suggested translation, which you can see in my note above (20 February 2008 07:06).

21 Febrer 2008 15:12

kfeto
Nombre de missatges: 953
hi Laura:-)

i don't think smy and i disagree.
we both agree that 'ne vardi' is the same as 'ne olur' literally 'what would happen', the infinitive being 'ne olmak'= 'to happen'

yeah welding is bad...but 'cling to' is not recommended because the object of that would be the person itself, not the absence being 'clung on'.
sensizlik is the object of 'sarip' from 'sarmak'
literally 'having wrapped your absence around the memories, i drank'

21 Febrer 2008 15:32

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
kfeto, you're confusing me. In your post above you said, "literally 'ne vardi' means 'what was' or 'what existed' as in 'what existed (that stopped you from returning or doing whatever it is that i want you to do)'", but now you're saying, "we both agree that 'ne vardi' is the same as 'ne olur' literally 'what would happen'" - which is it????

Thanks for the explanation of the first line. In that case, I would say, "This evening I wrapped the memories in your absence and drank," but your last version is OK, too.

21 Febrer 2008 16:10

smy
Nombre de missatges: 2481
this will be revaluated, I've made the change as dramati said I could in a pm, now you can edit the 1st, 9th and 10th lines kfeto.

As "Ne vardı" is used as a conjunction here, it means the same with "ne olur/du (what would happen)", if it was used to mean "exist" as the verb of a sentence (e.g. "bu bardağın içinde ne vardı" ) then it would mean "what was there in..."

22 Febrer 2008 02:33

kfeto
Nombre de missatges: 953
20 februari 2008 07:06 kafetzou translates 'ne vardi' as ""What happened?"

20 februari 2008 14:52 i explained giving two examples:
"Ne vardı" is equal to 'ne olur' and means something like:<example 1>"what's the worst that could happen?" or <example 2>"why not?"

20 februari 2008 12:02 smy suggests a translation which basically corresponds with the first example i give in my previous post(would- could):
"Why, I say, don't you return at the last moment" should be
"What would happen if you returned at the last moment"

20 februari 2008 15:41 kafetzou asks:
"Ne vardı" means "What would happen"????

21 februari 2008 11:41 i translate 'ne vardi' LITERALLY to clarify to kafetzou:
literally 'ne vardi' means 'what was' or 'what existed' as in 'what existed (that stopped you from returning or doing whatever it is that i want you to do)'

which is true since it is derived from 'var olmak'= 'to exist'

i never said that here "it was used to mean "exist" as the verb of a sentence", if i believed that i would've translated it as such to begin with.
i didn't. i used 'why not' since that, i felt, conveyed the meaning most accurately; namely a hypothetical question asking whether there is any reason not 'to return at the last moment'

Soit...i edited like this:
original:Why, I say, don't you return at the last moment
smy's suggestion: I say, what would happen if you only returned at the last moment
i slighty changed it because of the uncertainty expressed:
'you'd return'
hope this is acceptable to all because my laptop's charger is beginning to be filled with longing for conclusion...;-)

22 Febrer 2008 07:13

kafetzou
Nombre de missatges: 7963
LOL!
I think the translation is good now.
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