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106Traduction - Turc-Anglais - yalnizlik!dogustan her kimligine yazili...

Etat courantTraduction
Ce texte est disponible dans les langues suivantes: TurcAnglais

Catégorie Littérature - Société / Gens / Politique

Titre
yalnizlik!dogustan her kimligine yazili...
Texte
Proposé par eymen
Langue de départ: Turc

Yalnızlık! Doğuştan her kimliğine yazılı tek uğraşıdır insanın bir yaşama sırasında. Sahip olduğu tek şeydir kıymetini bilmelidir dedi. Yalnızdır insan hep, kalabalıklara karışma telaşı bundandır. Kalabalık yalnızlıklar, yalnız kalabalıklar oluşur şehir şehir ülke ülke. İnsan bir ölümü istemez bir de ondan beter yalnızlığı ama ikisi de muhakkak gelir başına bir yalnız yaşama sırasında ölümün değil ama yalnızlığın bir tek çaresi var dedi. Tek çaresi aşktır bir yalnız yaşama sırasında nefes almanın. Aşk da zaten iki yalnızın ortak bir yalnızlıkta buluşmasıdır dedi. Aşık olun gösterin birbirinize yalnızlıklarınızı. Nasılsa ayrılık, insanın kendi tek kişilik yalnızlığını özlemesi.
Commentaires pour la traduction
cevirecek arkadsim kusura bakmasin puanim yetmedigi icin bazi kelimeleri bitisik yazmak zorunda kaldim umarim cok fazla zorluk cikarmaz

before edit: yalnizlik!dogustan her kimligine yazili tekugrasidir insanin biryasama sirasinda.sahip oldugu tekseydir kiymetini bilmelidir dedi.yalnizdir insan hep kalabaliklara karisma telasi bundandir.kalabalik yalnizliklar,yalniz kalabaliklar olusur sehirsehir ulkeulke.insan bir ölumu istemez birde ondan beter yalnizligi ama ikiside muhakkak gelir basina bir yalniz yasama sirasinda ölumun degil ama yalnizligin bir tek cagresi var dedi.tek caresi asktir bir yalniz yasama sirasinda nefesalmanin.askta zaten ikiyalnizin ortak bir yalnizlikta bulusmasidir dedi.asik olun gösterin birbirinize yalnizliklarinizi.nasilsa ayrilik insanin kenditek kisilik yalnizligini özlemesi
-cheesecake

Titre
Solitude
Traduction
Anglais

Traduit par handyy
Langue d'arrivée: Anglais

Solitude! Connaturally written on each of his identities, it is the sole occupation of a person, during a life. He said it’s the only thing one possesses, and one ought to know its value. A person is alone all the time; that’s the reason of his rush to get into the crowds. Crowded solitudes and lonesome crowds occur from city to city, from country to country. One doesn’t want the death just in the same way as he doesn’t want the solitude, which is worse; but both surely happen to him, during a lonely life. There is one and only remedy not for the death but for the solitude, he said. The mere remedy to breathe during a lonesome life is love. After all, love is the meeting of two lonesome people on a common solitude, he said. Do fall in love and show your solitudes to each other. After all, separation is the yearning of a person for his own single solitude.
Commentaires pour la traduction
One of the rare translations I over-eagerly made by now! Hope I could manage it..

handyy
Dernière édition ou validation par lilian canale - 28 Février 2010 13:19





Derniers messages

Auteur
Message

5 Février 2010 20:43

merdogan
Nombre de messages: 3769
written on each of his identities...> written on each of every identities,
a person....> a human
and I thing it will be better to use "human" instate of "he" .

6 Février 2010 13:01

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
I don't agree with any of your offers at all.

-- "written on each of every identities" means "her (bir) kimliğe yazılı". But in the orginal, it says "her kimliğine yazılı".

-- You really see a difference between "a person" and "a human"?

-- If we use "human" all the time, it will bother the reader. Instead of repetition, we can and should use "he".

6 Février 2010 13:28

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
Wow great translation handyy! I just don't fully agree with the translation of the first sentence Doğuştan her kimliğine yazılı tek uğraşıdır insanın bir yaşama sırasında.

I wonder about the word 'connaturally'? never heard of it.. shouldn't it just mean 'Since birth it is written on every identity that this (solitude) is the sole occupation of a person during their life.'. Only in the second sentence is the 'he' introduced (through dedi), but the first sentence is a general statement I guess?

6 Février 2010 13:31

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
'her insanin kimligine' ? Sorry I just read what merdogan wrote, but I feel that sometimes 'human' should be used and sometimes 'he'.. maybe you should have a look at reference here, is the 'he' the one who is referred to or 'human' in general? This is also related to my other post, I think in the first sentence 'humanity' is addressed, and not he.

7 Février 2010 01:18

merdogan
Nombre de messages: 3769
Dear handyy,
it is a great translation.
But why don't you agree with our offers?
e g , why do you use "he,him" and not " she,her" ?
and don't you think if we use "he" all the time, will not bother the reader?

7 Février 2010 12:39

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Hi Chantal

"connaturally" means "from birth". So I think it's not wrong to use it.

About your offer for the first sentence ('Since birth it is written on every identity that this (solitude) is the sole occupation of a person during their life.'), I think this translation won't give the correct meaning. Because, your translation means "Doğuştan itibaren herkesin kimliğinde hayatı boyunca/sırasında bir insanın tek uğraşının yalnızlık olduğu yazar."

I mean, according to your translation, the whole sentence "the solitude is the sole occupation of a person during their life." is written on the identity. Hope I could explain the difference. :/

In the first sentence, 'humanity' is addressed. (here I useed "a person".)

In the second sentence, it's not "humanity", but a specific person who is indicated. But, we don't know who he is. Here, we cannot say "somebody said..." or "a person said...", beacuse, as I already said, it must imply a specific person. That's why I used "he" in the second sentence.

The third sentence is again about "humanity", and I started it with "a person".

And for the rest of sentences, I again said "he said" for "dedi".

7 Février 2010 12:41

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Merdogan, I already explained in my first message above why I don't agree with any of your offers. So I don't understand why you asked me this question now.

Please, read it again.

7 Février 2010 12:46

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
About your new questions...

If we don't know the gender, we generally use "he" as the pronoun. This is the rule, as far as I know.

And, I don't think using "he" all the time will bother the reader. Because, what makes a reader bother is reading the longer alternative of something all the time, while there is a shorter one.

7 Février 2010 13:12

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
Oh wait, now I get what the first sentence means! Anyway, I still don't think the first sentence is correct, how did you get to 'each of his' identities? Because this means that 1 person has more identities.. what about written on everyone's identity? so:

Solitude! Connaturally written on everyone's identity, it is the sole occupation of a person during a life.

Then I think there still is a little problem with the reference.. let me 'rewrite' your version the way I think it's better, maybe that will make clear what I mean! (Paste it in word, it works really well to compare! )

-------------------------------
Solitude! Connaturally written on everyone’s identity, it is the sole occupation of a person, during a life. He said it’s the only thing one (indefinite form to refer to individual human beings, because it’s about ‘insanin sahip oldugu right?, so not about ‘him’ but about ‘humans’) possesses, and one ought to know its value. A person (maybe human, makes it less ‘definite’) is alone all the time; that’s the reason of his(you can use ‘their’ here to refer to his/her) rush to get into the crowds. Crowded solitudes and lonesome crowds occur from city to city, from country to country. People don’t want death just as they don’t want solitude, which is even worse; but both will surely happen to them. (I’m not sure about the breakup here, I think ‘during a lonely life’ belongs to the next sentence as follows During a lonely life there is only one remedy, not for death but for solitude, he said. The only remedy to take a breath during a lonesome life is love. After all, love is the meeting of two lonesome people on a common solitude, he said. Do fall in love and show your solitudes to each other. In any case, separation is the yearning of a person for his own single solitude.
---------------------
Don't see this as negative criticism, I'm still surprised how well you translated it!

7 Février 2010 13:27

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Oh, please! Of course you will criticize me. I'm not a native English speaker, so I will absolutely make mistakes. That's the nature.

But, I really have to quit now. Please, let me check your version later, will you?

P.S.: Thank you so much for your compliment. But, I think what is great is the original text itself not the translation.

9 Février 2010 18:51

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Hi again, Chantal and Merdogan.

* Chantal, “on everyone’s identity” means “herkesin kimliğine”, but it says “her kimliğine” in the original. so it’s not accurate.

* I’m gonna chance the “he”s in the second sentence as you offered. It seems better.

* I prefer “a person” rather than “a human”, and “his” rather than “their” in the third sentence.

* I’m gonna use “ a person/one” again in the fourth sentence, not “people”, because this choice is made in the original itself. And, “ikisi de muhakkak gelir başına bir yalnız yaşama sırasında ölümün değil ama yalnızlığın bir tek çaresi var dedi.” here “bir yalnız yaşama sırasında” fits with the first sentence better, considering the meaning, believe me.

* I prefer “after all”. I seems like “in any case” changes the meaning more or less.


Here is the parts I’ll chance:

Solitude! Connaturally written on each of his identities, it is the sole occupation of a person, during a life. He said it’s the only thing one possesses, and one ought to know its value. A person is alone all the time; that’s the reason of his rush to get into the crowds. Crowded solitudes and lonesome crowds occur from city to city, from country to country. One doesn’t want the death just in the same way as he doesn’t want the solitude, which is worse; but both surely happen to him, during a lonely life. There is one and only remedy not for the death but for the solitude, he said. The mere remedy to breathe during a lonesome life is love. After all, love is the meeting of two lonesome people on a common solitude, he said. Do fall in love and show your solitudes to each other. After all, separation is the yearning of a person for his own single solitude.

What do you think now?

9 Février 2010 19:36

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Ah, I just saw your question “how did you get to 'each of his' identities? Because this means that 1 person has more identities”.

I now understood the reason of your and Merdogan’s doubts about the first sentence. While talking about identity, we may refer to different kinds of identities. For instance, national identity, cultural identity, religious identity, etc.

To make you sure, let me explain one more thing. "Doğuştan her kimliğine yazılı tek uğraşıdır insanın bir yaşama sırasında." is already an inverted sentence, namely, components of the sentence is not in the normal word order. But, if it was "her insanın kimliğine", then, even if it's an inverted sentence and no matter where you put this phrase in the sentence, you have to take it as a whole; you cannot break the phrase order. Otherwise, it will be wrong grammatically.

Hope it’s clear now.

11 Février 2010 20:13

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
Thanks handyy, I think your translation is ok now .

28 Février 2010 12:59

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Thank you for your help, Chantal and Merdogan.

______


Lily, I know you've already accepted it, but could you please replace the current translation with this one: (the things to be changed are written in bold )


Solitude! Connaturally written on each of his identities, it is the sole occupation of a person, during a life. He said it’s the only thing one possesses, and one ought to know its value. A person is alone all the time; that’s the reason of his rush to get into the crowds. Crowded solitudes and lonesome crowds occur from city to city, from country to country. One doesn’t want the death just in the same way as he doesn’t want the solitude, which is worse; but both surely happen to him, during a lonely life. There is one and only remedy not for the death but for the solitude, he said. The mere remedy to breathe during a lonesome life is love. After all, love is the meeting of two lonesome people on a common solitude, he said. Do fall in love and show your solitudes to each other. After all, separation is the yearning of a person for his own single solitude.

So sorry for the mess. :/


CC: lilian canale

28 Février 2010 13:19

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
Fixed!

Thanks, everyone