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Перевод - Tonight yet again i (Английский)

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18 Февраль 2008 18:55  

dramati
Кол-во сообщений: 972
Start out by editing i = I

There are also some small mistakes in the body of the test which, if you take your time, you will become aware of and can correct.
 

18 Февраль 2008 18:56  

dramati
Кол-во сообщений: 972
Start out by editing i = I

There are also some small mistakes in the body of the text which, if you take your time, you will become aware of and can correct.
 

18 Февраль 2008 21:27  

kfeto
Кол-во сообщений: 953
wouldn't it be easier if you'd just point out those small mistakes?
either way thank you for the feedback
 

19 Февраль 2008 08:33  

smy
Кол-во сообщений: 2481
some parts which I think need editing:

1. it's "anılara (memories)" not "anlar", also "every" is not necessary and "yet again" is not correct (first line)

2. "only" is not necessary (second line)

3. it "the dream" not "this dream" (fourth line)

4. "relive" instead "revive" (fifth line)

5. "the roads you'd walk" should be "...you walk" (fifth line)

6. "yet again" is not correct (sixth and seventh line)

7." Ne vardı diyorum ah bir dönseydin son anda. " is not translated correctly

8. şarjör=charger and
"sürmek" means "koymak/takmak"
(yani "sazımın şarjörüne hasret taktım" anlamında)
 

19 Февраль 2008 11:41  

smy
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1. "that dream" is ok then

2. "geldiÄŸin yollara" is not a conditional sentence, it's same as "geldiÄŸin yolda bir kaza oldu"

3. I'm not sure about "yet again"

4. "Şarjörüne hasret sürdüm sazımın"=I charged my banjo with longing but note that it's not "tuning" (I think you can translate "saz" as "banjo",
What do you think barok? (we need feedback from the requester)
 

19 Февраль 2008 12:05  

kfeto
Кол-во сообщений: 953
the conditionality of the sentence in turkish is expressed by "olmazmiyim" "wouldn't i be(come) the dust..."... the condition being "were you to come over those roads"
In english it also affects the walk part by adding "would" to it: "the roads you would walk"


I'll change to "I charged my saz with longing"
however i will not equate saz with banjo.
it's not the same instrument.
would we replace banjo with guitar if the requester didn't know a banjo, or a guitar with violin,and so forth...


 

19 Февраль 2008 12:55  

smy
Кол-во сообщений: 2481
No kfeto, "geldiÄŸin yollara" is not a conditionality, I think we need some more help.
Kafetzou, could you please help with the lines 6th and 10th?

CC: kafetzou
 

19 Февраль 2008 16:47  

goncin
Кол-во сообщений: 3706
Hey everyone here!

I tried to translate this into Portuguese, but I couldn't understand the part "charger of my saz". What would be exactly "saz"?

Thanks in advance,
 

19 Февраль 2008 16:56  

smy
Кол-во сообщений: 2481
"Saz" is traditional stringed music instrument in Turkey,

I think it should be translated as: "I charged(the charger of) my Saz with longing" ("charged" does not mean "tuning"
 

19 Февраль 2008 16:58  

goncin
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Obrigado, smy!
 

19 Февраль 2008 20:29  

kfeto
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Perhaps "filled my saz with longing"?
It sounds more natural than "charging a saz"
 

20 Февраль 2008 07:06  

kafetzou
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Hi smy

I think that the translation of the 6th line is fine - the word "would" is used the convey the uncertainty of "olmazmıyım".

But this line is not correct: "Why, I say, don't you return at the last moment." It should be, "What happened? I say, ah, if only you would come back in the last minute."
 

20 Февраль 2008 07:10  

kafetzou
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P.S. A saz is a saz, everybody! There's no other word for this instrument.

I think the "charger" line should be "I long for my saz's inspiration".
 

20 Февраль 2008 07:27  

kafetzou
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This is a saz:

saz

And this is a banjo:

banjo
 

20 Февраль 2008 14:52  

kfeto
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well i like "I long for my saz's inspiration".
It sounds good though i don't know how accurate it is since frankly i don't understand the original line in turkish.

"Ne vardı" is equal to 'ne olur' and means something like:"what's the worst that could happen?" or "why not?"
 

20 Февраль 2008 12:02  

smy
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Ok, then the 6th line is correct, thanks Kafetzou! yet, the translation for "Şarjörüne hasret sürdüm sazımın" is not correct as is, we need some explanation from barok, the and also this line:
"Why, I say, don't you return at the last moment" should be
"What would happen if you returned at the last moment"

you should unevaluate this translation dramati.

CC: dramati
 

20 Февраль 2008 15:41  

kafetzou
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"Ne vardı" means "What would happen"????
 

20 Февраль 2008 15:42  

kafetzou
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Also, kfeto, why did you use the word "welding" in the first line?
 

20 Февраль 2008 17:06  

smy
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Yes, "ne vardı" means "ne olurdu"?
 

20 Февраль 2008 17:21  

smy
Кол-во сообщений: 2481
Ok, this line should be changed completely, this is the most literal translation:

Ne vardı diyorum ah bir dönseydin son anda = I say, what would happen if you only returned at the last moment?

And, "I long for my saz's inspiration" would not be correct.

 
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